Washingtion Times: Climate Change Cooling Off
Al Gore goofed. Instead of talking up “climate extremes,” he should have spoken about the dangers of an increasingly mild climate.
Washington is likely to wrap up the month (and the summer) with the mercury having topped 90 degrees only once or twice. This has been shown to lead to increased lounging in the backyard and heightened consumption of grilled hot dogs.
The error was apparent last month when Mr. Gore tried to give away ice cream from his “I’m too hot” truck at An Environmental Protection Agency field hearing in Denver. It was a clever idea for a July event, but at 58 degrees he had no takers. Gong-show liberals have ramped up alarmism, apparent over the past few days.
The left-wing magazine Mother Jones blames global warming for “ruining your breakfast.” Mankind’s penchant for exhaling carbon dioxide is supposed to be responsible for the rise in the price of cornflakes, a bacon shortage, bland coffee and a 2009 flood that reduced waffle production. No mention was made of ethanol mandates cutting into corn production, which could cause a shortage of cornbread, nor of the Food and Drug Administration’s shutting down the Georgia factory where Eggo waffles are made for a session of “enhanced cleaning.”
Disasters make great headlines, so The New Zealand Herald blames global warming for “pandemics and plagues,” as though the Ebola virus spawned from large carbon footprints.
Leonardo DiCaprio, the wealthy actor with time on his hands, is producing a series of short films advocating raising gasoline and electricity prices through higher taxes. “We need to keep this carbon in the ground,” says the star of 1997’s “Titanic.” “In order to prevent a catastrophic warming of the planet by 2 degrees Celsius,” he says, “we cannot burn more than 500 gigatons of carbon into the atmosphere.” It all sounds so official and precise, but the process of releasing “carbon” into the atmosphere is what we all do when we exhale.
Shortness of breath abounds at the Huffington Post, which treated its online readers to a gallery of “scared scientists,” black-and-white photographs of hyperventilating researchers whose brows furled for the cameras as they read the results of their own research predicting the extinction of species, global conflict and widespread famine. For maximum effect, each photo shoot ended before smile-inducing government grant checks arrived.